World's Most Liked Jokes
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| 1° |
A boy asks his teacher:
- Would you punish me for something I haven''t done?
- Of course not!
- Good because I haven''t done my homework. |
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| 2° |
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. ''I would like to buy this TV,'' she told the salesman.
''Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes,'' he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, ''I would like to buy this TV.''
''Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes,'' he replied.
''Darn, he recognized me,'' she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. ''I would like to buy this TV.''
''Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes,'' he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, ''How do you know I''m a blonde?''
''Because that''s a microwave,'' he replied. |
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| 3° |
A drunk arrives really late home. He knows his wife won''t open the door, so he decides to pretend he bought her flowers and knocks at the door.
- wife: Who is it?
- drunk:I bring flowers for the pretty lady.
The wife opens the door and says: Where are the flowers?
- drunk: Where''s the pretty lady? |
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| 4° |
A man goes to his doctor and says, ''I dont think my wifes hearing isnt as good as it used to be. What should I do?''
The doctor replies, ''Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesnt respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.''
The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, ''Whats for dinner, honey?
He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Still, no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her and says, ''Honey, whats for dinner?'' She replies, ''For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!'' |
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| 5° |
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York theres a magical mirror. If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you one wish
but if you lie - POOF! - it swallows you up for eternity.
A brunette, redhead, and a blonde walk into that very bar - with a mission. They head straight for the magic mirror. The redhead goes first and says I think Im the most beautiful woman on Earth POOF! - the mirror swallows her up and shes gone for eternity.
The brunette goes up to the mirror and says I think Im the sexiest woman on Earth POOF - now shes gone too.
Lastly, the blonde goes up to the mirror says I think
.. - POOF! |
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